As an educator, parent, or guardian, you care deeply about the young people in your life. You want to see them thrive not only academically, but as whole, healthy individuals who understand themselves and relate to others with kindness. One of the most valuable skills we can help youth develop is emotional intelligence. But what exactly is emotional intelligence, and why does it matter so much for young people’s well-being?
Emotional intelligence (or EI) is the ability to identify and manage our own emotions, while also perceiving and responding productively to the emotions of others. EI can help youth understand what may be behind their feelings, how to express emotions in healthy ways, and navigate conflict thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
A central part of EI is empathy – having the capacity to see the world through someone else’s eyes and feel what they are feeling. This skill helps youth build strong connections with their peers, which is beneficial for their mental well-being. Teaching students about EI contributes to safe, supportive classrooms and homes where everyone feels heard. It’s part of preparing them for the complex social world they will navigate day-to-day as adults.
Helping Youth Build Emotional Intelligence
Here are some simple ways school staff and parents/caregivers can encourage EI: 
Talk About Feelings Through Stories
Books, movies, or TV shows can all serve as useful windows into emotional experiences. Try asking: “How do you think this character feels right now?” or “What would you do if you were in their place?” This invites young people to step into different perspectives and build empathy in a natural, engaging way.
Lead By Example
Kids learn a lot by watching how adults handle emotions. Model EI by showing that it’s okay to express feelings and work through them. For example, a parent might pause and say, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath,” or guide the child to do the same when needed. Help youth name and regulate their emotions if they are in a challenging situation.
Use Tools That Build Emotional Vocabulary and Awareness
One great framework for this is the RULER approach, developed by the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. It stands for:
- Recognize your emotions
- Understand what’s causing them
- Label them with words
- Express them appropriately
- Regulate or manage them
It may also be helpful to use a visual tool, such as a “Mood Meter,” that lists different emotions and levels of intensity. Having youth point out how they are feeling can help them learn to accurately identify and describe their emotions.
Create a Safe Space to Express Emotions
Let children know it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions and that you won’t judge them. Offer reassurance and support as they learn to navigate what they’re feeling.
At Stigma-Free Mental Health Society, we understand that teaching concepts like emotional intelligence can feel challenging at times, especially when you are balancing a busy schedule or full curriculum. That’s why we developed the no-cost Student Mental Health Toolkit, filled with ready-to-use resources. Here are a few you might find especially useful for educating youth about EI:
- Student Activities – Includes classroom activities focused on emotional awareness and regulation, building connections with others, and more.
- Lesson Plans and Downloadable Resources – Widely used by school counsellors and educators, these resources cover a range of mental health topics related to emotional intelligence, such as recognizing patterns in mood, practicing empathy, and improving communication.
Register for full access to the Student Mental Health Toolkit to download these resources and more at no cost!
By nurturing EI, we give young people tools to form healthy relationships with themselves and others. We hope these resources empower you to support the youth in your care, and we appreciate your commitment to helping the next generation grow into emotionally intelligent, confident individuals. For more no-cost educational materials, please feel free to explore our Stigma-Free School Program.
References
Harvard DCE Professional & Executive Development. (2019, August 26). How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence. Harvard Division of Continuing Education.
Onyx Counselling and Psychology. (n.d.). How to foster emotional intelligence in your child.
Tominey, S., O’Bryon, E., Rivers, & Shapses, S. (2017, March). Teaching emotional intelligence in early childhood. NAEYC.
Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. (n.d.). RULER. Yale School of Medicine.
Author: Monique Zizzo
