The transition back to school this month is about more than school supplies and schedules. A new year also brings a new opportunity to engage with your child and open a dialogue about their inner world.

Why Talking Matters

Between 66% and 75% of mental health issues begin to manifest before the age of 24 (Kessler et al., 2005), and the World Health Organization reports that mental health conditions are among the leading causes of illness and disability in youth (WHO, 2023). About 1 in 5 Canadian youth aged 25 and under live with a mental illness, according to the Mental Health Commission of Canada.

Yet children don’t grow up in isolation – they are embedded in families and communities. Parents, caretakers and guardians play a vital role in understanding and supporting their children’s mental health and are key figures when it comes to prevention and early intervention (Kehoe et al., 2026).

Still, talking to your teen can be really challenging. It is helpful to remember that it’s not that your teen does not want to talk; it may be that you are simply asking the wrong questions. With that in mind, here are some thoughtful conversation starters for parents and guardians to use as an intentional tool this school year.

Before You Begin

The way of communicating is just as important as the content of your conversation. These prompts work especially well in a safe, relaxed environment with a non-judgmental approach.

Here are some tips to establish that supportive framework:

● Choose a comfortable space: ideally a casual and screen-free moment that provides a low-pressure opportunity to talk, like driving in the car or out for a walk
● Listen more than you talk: aim for a 70:30 ratio and practise active listening
● Opt for open-ended questions: as opposed to yes/no questions which can feel interrogative
● Avoid judgement/problem solving: sometimes the best support you can offer is just listening
● Keep it natural: have fun and follow their excitement
● Normalize vulnerability: if it feels right, you can share your own age-appropriate stories and experiences to destigmatize struggling and model resilience
● Stay curious: people, especially youth, can sense when you are genuinely interested in their world and are checking in without an agenda
● Validate their feelings: show empathy and understanding for their range of emotions
● Respect their privacy: if the questions touch upon a noticeably difficult topic, continue with sensitivity and respect for healthy boundaries

Different Dimensions

The following sets of questions cover various topics and experiences your child may want to speak about. Some zones they may be more willing to engage in than others, and that is okay.

The focus is on building agency and independence, while helping foster trust and safety to talk about vulnerable subjects and ask for help if need be. You can adapt the questions slightly depending on your child’s age and maturity level.

Emotional Intelligence & Mental Health

● What are you feeling about starting school again?
● Have you noticed any ways in which school affects your mood or energy?
● How can we encourage positivity and resilience this school year?

Parental Support

● What kind of support do you most like to receive from me?
● If you were struggling, how would I know? What would you need from me?
● How can I support your extracurricular activities and commitments this year?

Social Life & Belonging

● Who are you excited to see again this year?
● Did any of your friendships shift over the summer?
● What makes someone a good friend to you?

Academic Pressures & Expectations

● What is one class you’re curious about?
● If grades were not a thing, what would you want to learn?
● What feels manageable this year, and what feels overwhelming?

Goal-Oriented

● What is one goal you have for this school year?
● What is something new you’d like to try or experience?
● What’s something you would like to get better at?

Health & Wellness

● What are some healthy habits you would like to establish this year?
● What activities make you feel good in your body?
● How are you sleeping, and how are your energy levels?

Social Media & Screen Time

● How do you feel about the amount of time you spend online?
● Do you notice how you feel when you’re on social media, before or after?
● Is there anything you’ve seen online that you feel bothered you, or you would like to talk about?

Inspiring Resources

Not every conversation will go perfectly, and that is okay. When it comes to keeping the conversation alive and flowing between you and your child, you’re not in it alone. Our Student Mental Health Toolkit contains Resources For Parents, Guardians, and Caregivers that provide plenty of guidance on supporting your child as well as your own mental well-being.

Inside the toolkit, you will find engaging activities that educate youth about mental health, as well as a variety of informative downloads, such as Caring for Your Child’s Mental Health: A Guide for Caregivers, Conversation Cards (with topics like “what is stigma”, “what is mental health”, etc) and essential guides like Tips on how to talk to your child about their mental well-being and about mental illness.

There are also podcasts, videos, and downloadable peer support workbooks for families, as well as links to organizations and initiatives that provide youth mental health support and support for families.

Our blog is also updated regularly with well-researched and evidence-based think pieces, such as Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Kids and Teens: Tips for Parents and Educators and more.

Together, Stronger

The home environment is one of the most influential spaces when it comes to youth mental health, and as a parent or guardian, you can help foster mental wellbeing in simple but powerful ways. These conversations are part of an ongoing practice to keep lines of communication open.

By showing up, being curious, and staying vulnerable and present for your youth’s experience, you can start the year off on a note of connection and help normalize all the feelings – big and small.

Author: Kristine Mitchell

SOURCES

Mental Health Commission of Canada (n.d.)

Kehoe, C. E., Kirby, G., Mazzucchelli, T. G., Higgins, D. J., Havighurst, S. S., Doyle, F. L., … & Westrupp, E. M. (2026). Why has youth mental health worsened and what can be done: The role of parenting interventions. Mental Health & Prevention, 200553. 

Kessler RC, Berglund P, Demler (2005) Lifetime prevalence and age of onset distributions of DSM IV disorders 

World Health Organization (2023). Global Accelerated Action for the Health of Adolescents – Second edition.