Being bipolar can be the pitts sometimes, especially when you charge right into mania and most times you are unaware that it is happening. For our folks who are not aware what mania is, the best way that I describe it is your brain working over time-big time over time. One of the most pronounced symptoms is you lose the ability to sleep. When I was in deep mania heading into a major psychosis (a break with reality) I lost my sleeping pattern and it began with staying up super late, like 5am, and it bordered on dangerous when I did not sleep for 3 days. I also gained a keen ability to type really quickly and my ability to rhyme and write became astonishingly amazing! I also wrote a 33 page document, single spaced, on how to win the next federal election. It was brilliant or so I thought that being the next Prime Minister was the next best thing to winning a trip to the Caribbean. You do silly things when you are in mania and don't even realize that they are strange. A friend once told me that "crazy people love to take their clothes off." Well she is right, I have heard of so many incidences where people in mania just want to have their butt to the breeze and I am one of them! I recall believing I was Eve from the garden of Eden and as I walked around my apartment mesmerized by my epiphany I could hear God telling me that my Adam was next door, so naturally I would knock on the door and say hello. I had only met my neighbour once and as he stood there perplexed upon seeing me I let myself in and explained my dilemma that he was Adam and I had to speak with him. As I sat on the edge of his couch he said " Wow, you are just as comfortable naked as if you had your clothes on!" This incident was one of many that lead me to the Ottawa hospital where I was admitted for a month for my first experience of having mania and psychosis. As I walked the hallways in the hospital for what felt like days, the amazing feeling of being in mania subsided and I was forced to be in the real world once again, it was quite the crash. Sometimes people go off their medications because the feeling of being in mania is intoxicating as it is like taking ecstasy times a million or so I am told. 😉 I understand why people go off their medications and I do not scorn them, besides the horrible side-effects they experience, the feeling of mania is so overwhelmingly beautiful, feeling like nothing else one would experience in this world. However, I do recommend staying on your meds because mania is too intense and is an experience that this world cannot handle coping with or ourselves for that matter. You can't be insane in a sane world, but many would argue that statement as our world seems pretty insane at times. If we were all in mania, all the time, this world would be a pretty cool place to live, but till then stay safe and remember with a high is always a crashing low, so plunging deep into mania is not worth it if you can help it. This Eve must go to sleep now in her garden of Eden…or bed…I realize sleeping has become massively important next to breathing as it is vital for a life full of meaning, positive productivity and taking care of your delicate self. Much Love, Babe 🙂
