How are things?  Up until recently, pretty fabulous, except I got a bit of a surprise.  I went for my yearly physical today and my doctor told me that I have a swollen thyroid!  GREAT!  Things have been going so well and then this happens.  I don’t want to be negative and say ‘just my luck’ because  that would be false advertising, I consider myself very lucky.  It is difficult to accept that I might have a hypo-thyroid.  This means that my metabolism may just slow right down and the symptoms are vast: weight gain, sluggishness, poor concentration, and even the possibility of cancer.  Then there is the most obvious reason –lithium.  Damn!  I have finally found a pretty decent medication cocktail and it may be messing with my thyroid.  Then the questions arise: Would I stay on lithium even though my thyroid may be affected?  Would I prefer to risk it and go off lithium just to ensure I don’t have the suffer the effects of hypo-thyroidism? Would thyroid meds work?  Would I want to take more meds?

Once upon a time a little girl asked me if I found out down the road that lithium was causing me a harsh side-effect then would I still continue to use it.  I told her yes, but now I am starting to reconsider.  I have many fears about the possibility of going off lithium and the major factor is going into a deep psychosis like I did before.  The past does not create the future and I am rest assured that if ANYTHING were to potentially happen again that I would take action to stop it.  Would I be able to stop it?  So many questions.

I was hoping to return to school once again in January 2012, even received my doctor’s consent to return after being away for 1.5 years.  Now I fear contacting the Dean and conveying all that I have been experiencing as I felt pressured by the university to return earlier.  I also have muscle balance problems in my eyes, probably due to medication as well, and it is difficult for me to read a book, view a computer screen or my phone.  HOW WILL I SURVIVE SCHOOL IN THIS STATE?

I am freaking out a bit here, this babe is NOT always cool and collected.  I just hope my thyroid test comes back ok.  I hope I make it through this ok.

BABE