Perfectionism can be a heavy burden for students to carry, especially those who may already feel the weight of academic and social expectations. Striving for excellence can bring out the best in students and encourage growth, but it’s important to distinguish between healthy ambition and harmful perfectionism. The latter can lead to stress, anxiety, and even burnout. In this post, we’ll explore how perfectionism affects students’ mental health and share strategies that educators, parents, and caregivers can use to help students of all ages cope.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is not the same thing as working hard or trying to perform your best. It may cause youth to have an intense fear of failure or believe that if they make mistakes, they are inherently flawed. Students who are “perfectionists” may constantly seek approval, be overly self-critical, and struggle to feel satisfied with their achievements.
This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and unrealistic expectations. Perfectionists may set unachievably high standards and then engage in self-blame when they don’t meet these standards. Over time, this pattern can contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Academic pressures, combined with perfectionistic tendencies, can be especially damaging to students’ mental health during their formative years.
Perfectionism has been linked to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. Perfectionism in children and teens can lead to mental health challenges similar to those seen in adults. Students may experience:
- Chronic Stress: Constantly striving for flawless performance can be exhausting, leading to persistent stress.
- Anxiety and Worry: They may worry excessively about making mistakes, fearing that even minor errors will lead to severe consequences.
- Depression: When students can’t meet their high expectations, they may feel a sense of hopelessness and failure. This can contribute to symptoms of depression over time.
- Low Self-Esteem: Perfectionists may focus more on their shortcomings rather than their successes, which can eventually harm their self-worth.
Recognizing Perfectionistic Thoughts and Behaviors
As an educator, parent, or caregiver, it’s important to recognize when a student might be struggling with perfectionism. Common signs include:
- Obsessing over small mistakes
- Often hesitating to turn in work because it’s “not good enough”
- Avoiding new or challenging tasks for fear of failure
- Becoming frustrated or anxious about grades, often seeking validation from others
- Holding onto rigid beliefs such as, “If I’m not the best, I’m not good enough.”
Fortunately, there are practical strategies that can help students manage and overcome perfectionist tendencies. Here are a few ways to encourage a more balanced approach to achievement:
Foster a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset emphasizes learning and improvement rather than fixed ability. When students adopt this way of thinking, they view mistakes as opportunities to grow. Encourage students to ask themselves questions like, “What can I learn from this?” and “How will this help me improve?”
Remind students that mistakes are a completely normal and important part of learning! Instead of viewing failure as an end point, encourage them to see it as a step in the process of reaching their goals. This approach can help reduce the anxiety students may feel about performing perfectly.
Suggested Resource: Re-Framing & The Growth Mindset
This lesson plan guides educators in teaching students about different parts of the brain and how thinking positively can help them become a better learner. Through a class activity, students reframe their negative thoughts into beliefs that reflect an optimistic growth mindset.
Our no-cost Student Mental Health Toolkit offers a wide selection of lesson plans like this one, featuring resources aligned with both Manitoba and B.C. curricula for grades 4-7 and 8-12. Register now to access the Toolkit and find teaching materials that suit your needs!
Self-compassion can help students manage self-critical thoughts, allowing them to forgive themselves for mistakes. Simple affirmations, such as “I am proud of my effort” and “my mistakes help me grow” can be powerful for children or teens who are perfectionists.
Suggested Resource: Fostering Self-Compassion
This downloadable resource is packed with tips and exercises for practicing self-compassion. Educators and parents/caregivers can share these habits with their students and children to help them learn to treat themselves with kindness.
Set Realistic Goals and Expectations
Help students set achievable goals. By breaking larger goals into manageable steps, students can build confidence and reduce feelings of overwhelm. This can be a valuable way to prevent burnout and promote a more balanced outlook on success.
When perfectionist tendencies lead to stress, it’s helpful for students to have healthy coping strategies they can rely on. Breathing exercises, journaling, and mindfulness activities are excellent ways to help students manage their emotions in moments of stress.
Suggested Resource: Coping with Mental Health
This section of the Student Mental Health Toolkit provides resources that can be used at home or in the classroom to teach youth how to care for their mental health. Browse videos, comic books, and more on this topic!
Addressing perfectionism can help students build healthy learning habits and improve their well-being. To learn more about providing mental health education to students and youth, join our community of educators, parents, and caregivers! Check out the Stigma-Free School Program to find out how our resources and trainings can benefit your school community.
References
How perfectionism in children and teens impacts mental health. (2024, March 20). Newport Academy.
Lower secondary students’ perfectionistic profiles: Stability, transitions, and connections with well-being. Learning and Individual Differences, (2024) Kuusi, A., Tuominen, H., Widlund, A., Korhonen, J., & Niemivirta, M.
Author: Monique Zizzo
